she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We had to coat check the pizza.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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