areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
