Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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