Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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