I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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