We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
