dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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