There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
