GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You're a disaster
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