Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
