I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
