After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
