What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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