I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
