I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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