this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
