Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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