he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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