I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
