If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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