So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My penis needs a shock collar
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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