Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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