just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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