I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
