that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it hurts more in the daytime
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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