This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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