U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
