All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
