Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
