I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
