The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
