How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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