It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
