I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
