She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
People with herpes should wear stickers.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
