I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
