Me too!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
