so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
