I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
