At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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