is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
