I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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