yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
