You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you traded sex for a burrito?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
