1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She bit a glass in half.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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