I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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