roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Even my vagina gasped.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
