It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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