I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
