I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
