I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
